Cold hands, warm shart.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you had me at cake vodka
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
