How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
