It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
