YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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