walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I need to calm my uterus...
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
