bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize