Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I stole a fireplace last night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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