he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
