Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
