I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
