I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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