OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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