fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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