First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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