If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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