Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
