He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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