i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
