did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
