did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
