I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
