grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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