That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize