Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
