i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
