Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
