Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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