If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
