I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
