2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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