Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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