u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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