I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
