Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
