We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
