she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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