I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
