im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
