Hey man sorry I got all grabby
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
