I wannas sexs uuuuu
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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