Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
im on a boat
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