I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you inspire me to be a worse person
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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