and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
...so i touched it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
