i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
