Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
high people should be assigned attendants
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
