There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
