I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
