My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
