Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
