my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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