Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
