He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
