Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
