i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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