I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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