The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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