he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
