why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
only you would photoshop your dick
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
