I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
