yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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