A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
