you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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