Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
