shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
