She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
