i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
