She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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