I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
